Remembering a Loved One

Cedar Memorial knows that one of the best way to remember a loved one is to visit their grave site, place flowers upon it, and whisper a prayer, recite a poem, or recall a cherished memory. But there are many ways to remember a loved one even if you can’t visit their final resting place on a regular basis.

A Loved One’s Melody
Playing your loved one’s favorite music album or some of their favorite songs is a great way to remember their personality and fondness for certain types of music and performers, maybe even a concert you attended together. It’s also fun to sing along and maybe even sway to the music. This type of remembrance can be celebrated alone or with family members and friends who shared your loved one’s musical taste.

Letters of Love
Some families like to write letters to a loved one who has passed on. These letters can be written in advance of a birthday or anniversary, and, if possible, tucked under a stone or brick near your loved one’s grave site. The letters can also be placed in an album or small chest to be re-read in years to come. If your loved one had a keen sense of humor, a limerick might be a good option. You could also write down specific memories of a vacation, career move, or family reunion. Poetry can also help to express your feelings.

Revisit Cherished Times
If you have albums or boxes of photos at home, take time to look through them and remember your loved one’s life – the vacation they took to Hawaii, their time as a Boy Scout troop leader, their special hobby or leisure activity. You might be surprised by the memories that pop up as you look at old photos. You also might find yourself laughing out loud or shedding a few tears, both of which can feel cathartic.

A Flame Eternal
Lighting a candle, or more than one, is also a wonderful way to remember a loved one. Staring into the flickering orange flame or a candle can transport the mind to different times and places and evoke intense memories of a loved one. The candle flame also has different religious connotations, such as the light of Christ in Christianity and Shabbat (the sabbath day) in Judaism.

Meaningful Memories
It can also help to just spend some time alone, thinking about your loved one in the silence of your home or a nearby park or forest. When you take time away from your busy life to sit with your memories – good and bad – you give yourself the opportunity to release emotions such as sadness, remorse, and regret. And if you feel like giggling about a particularly silly moment, or a hilarious evening with friends, you can go right ahead -- no one’s going to judge you!